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i gotta stop putting in 11-12 hour shifts.


it's only tuesday

how is it only tuesday? why is it taking so long to get to friday?

added two new kids to my class today, which puts us over the two-teacher limit, so now i've got another teaching partner for the remainder of the year.

one of the new kids is still really just a baby - he'll be repeating nursery again next year. he cried all morning until lunchtime, then happily ate his lunch and played with toys on the blue mat for about an hour before falling apart into tears again. the girl cried the whole day until she fell asleep for naptime.

my new partner (she just started with the company around halloween, but has a lot of experience in japanese preschools before this) was fine, though she apparently asked my area manager if crying kids need to be hugged a lot.... he explained that no, we don't want them to think that crying is a way to get picked up and held and pampered, so it's best to comfort them and try to distract them with a balloon or a toy or something, or sometimes just to let them try and self-comfort if that's what they need... and then my new partner went on to say that at her old school they yelled at the crying kids. O_o

walked from the school to the station with my area manager after work, because waiting for the bus in the cold (in the cold) isn't much fun. i asked about what we'd been told at the last head teacher meeting, if they'd made any decision yet about changing the position for next year (instead of having a japanese and native head teacher at each school, having just one head teacher and to compensate for the extra work load making it it a full-time administrative position instead of something you do on top of your regular class position), and he said they were supposed to have meetings about that today and tomorrow at head office.

i mentioned that at the christmas party, clive had told me that head office recognizes they put me into a situation that i hadn't exactly signed up for when i accepted the head teacher position for this year, and that they think i've "worked [my] fucking ass off" and that i have head office's support and that i'm doing a good job.

which was nice to hear, since i've been suffering from more than my usual lack of confidence (it's my charm point) this year. it probably doesn't help any that my japanese counterpart and our manager have been subtly implying the whole year that i'm not fit for the position. and once my manager just flat out said that she doesn't like my personality and i'm not perky and bubbly enough to be a head teacher. i resisted the urge to tell her to go fuck herself, so maybe there's some hope for me after all.

area manager said that head office has always approved of the work i do, and that basically clive's been sitting there waiting for years for me to grow enough confidence to take on the responsibility they want to give me.

i don't think i'll ever get used to the concept that people like me and they like what i do.

btw, 2013 kinda sucked.

I kinda colored a good chunk of my hair pink and purple for the show today. Our seats were in the fifth row of stands, so why not?

Other than Imae-kun and Jo-chan, I think we got fanservice noticed by everyone we'd hoped for. Akito found us in the first song, and continued to find us and make eye contact and wave throughout the show. Junta didn't come by as often, but he gave us attention as well. Got love from Hama-chan. Yukito was in a "oh it's you guys lol" mood today, but still waved at us. Richard and Matori were happy to see us and waved. Bun looked right at us every time he came by, but being Bun he didn't do anything but stare. We got Nairu to notice my handwritten uchiwa at the end, and he stood there and grinned and stared long enough for me to flip it around so he could read the 来週 Happy Birthday! note on the other side.... and then he bowed to me.

I totally have Nairu Problems.

Also, Junta Problems after his solo today. Fucking damn that was hot.

I'm still not quite sure how I feel about the debut - I'm ecstatic for BAD (hell, we've been following them for TEN YEARS now, this is a BIG MOMENT in our fangirl careers), but I can't help but worry for Bun and Hama-chan. At least with Odasaku Bun (and Ryuta!) are safe through May, and Hama-chan's got the drama thingie, which is good work.... but yeah.

Apr. 6th, 2013

So, um, I'm head teacher. Did I mention that?

And if the first couple of weeks are any indication of how this year is going to go, given my typical way of dealing with massive amounts of stress, I will prolly hit 45kg by the end summer.

Add that to the list of things I should have mentioned at the (five hour) interview: I don't like answering the phone. I don't like making decisions. I don't like people. I pretty much have a stress-related eating disorder.

Mar. 13th, 2013

Said goodbye to the K3 class today. These are kids who I taught when they were in Nursery, and some of them I've known since they were born. And I had to hug each one and tell them that I won't be at Tomi next year when they come for After Class, because I'm being moved to the new school in Myrica Hills. Saying goodbye is hard.


Happy New Year!

2012 was better than 2011, so hopefully this trend continues and this year is even better.



So it's December 31st.

I have updated this thing, sort of, every other day this year. More or less. A few times I had to edit the date (when I was out late, when I was in a different time zone, when I was traveling all day), but yeah. I posted on odd-numbered days all year long.

Yeah, it's kind of a strange thing to pursue, but writing in patterns is fun. I'm not sure I'll keep it up through 2013, but it is nice to update more regularly.

The other.... accomplishment? of the last year was not eating at makudo.

Beyond that, not much.

this is possibly the cheatingest of my cheater entries, as its not an odd-numbered day on any calendar anywhere at this point, but oh well. i spent all day travelling and now im too tired to even set up my computer before i sleep.


but yeah, in osaka safe and sound. and cold, cause my apartment hasn't been heated for ten days.


Dec. 27th, 2012

Tomorrow's my last full day at home. I'm heading up to Seattle to (hopefully) buy some awesome boots and then have dinner with my friends... but I feel bad not spending it at home. I'd feel bad not seeing my friends, though. So it's great - I feel guilty no matter what I do.

Kit's gone at work all day, and then a lot of the evenings he's spent with Annika, so it feels like I haven't gotten to see him very much. Change is hard.


Washington - The Hardest Part


April 2014


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